his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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