Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
