Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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