i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize