OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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