STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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