So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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