I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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