I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
