You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
