Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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