3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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