...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
