i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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