Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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