He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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