I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
