Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
