I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
