I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
