watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
