Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
