Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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