ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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