Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
