he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i now understand why vodka
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize