school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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