she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need to align my fucking chakras
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
