She's JV to your varsity
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
