your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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