I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
