How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Tell her she can't have a vagina
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
