That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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