your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
