I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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