you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
