Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
