im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
