Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
