i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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