There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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