my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
