I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize