mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she woke up with a sticky ear
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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