the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
