Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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