i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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