never play flip cup with pint glasses
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize