george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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