it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
