Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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