Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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