So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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