He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Bring me that man meat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
