I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
