Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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