I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So much Jack, so little girl.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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