Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize