do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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