dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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