bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
