let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
