We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
