apparently the secret to your success is patron
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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